Socially akward moments and emotional rollercoasters


This morning at staff devotional I was left completely in the dark. The people at the far end of the table were saying I needed to visit this certain older lady who lives in quite the dump (for the cultural experience to quote them). Then they asked me if I had ever eaten shrimp. I said I certainly had and they all laughed. I have no idea how these two things are related. Clearly shrimp was a slang term for something else. Just because you speak a language does not mean that you can understand everything said to you or make yourself understood. This afternoon when I was trying to tell one of the kids that the computer mouse was ancient I said it was old and she did not get it. When my friend described the mouse as being ancient she got it. Then he said, 'It's because Julianna's Portuguese isn't very perfect that we can't understand her all the time.' He wasn't trying to be offensive and it is certainly true so I took it just fine. The reality of the situation is just frustrating at times and yet I'm way ahead of where my parents were at when they arrived in '88.

Its like I'm in this third category known as the semi-outsider. I look like a 'gringa' and when I'm tired I have an accent but if it's a casual encounter I can probably fool you. It's kind of like being stuck in limbo where you don't fit in fully in either of your cultures. I wonder what it'll be like coming back, probably just fine since 3.5 months is not enough time to make me Brasilian. Though I will definitely miss a lot of the things about this culture like all the hugs and great food.

Speaking of things I'll miss the whole idea of leaving has me on the brink of tears at times. I have grown very attached to these people and this place. There are certainly things I will not miss but I have played, prayed, worked and worshiped with these people and thought of leaving them breaks my heart. I am withdrawing and going through a bit of a grieving process which I think is normal but certainly is not pleasant. I'm not sure how many more times I want to do this. Please pray for strength and joy in the mids of this transition time, thanks.

My main task lately has been working in the library room catalouging books so that the library can open by the end of the month. Data entry is not my favorite thing so prayers for perserverance and that I won't give in to laziness would be appreciated as well. However, at the volunteer meeting we had yesterday it was exciting to hear the youth trouble shooting and sharing different ideas of how to advertise the library. I just hope we can find people to staff the place and that community members will be responsible and bring the books back once they have borrowed them. It would also be great to see initiatives like youth reading to illiterate seniors take off. Yet another prayer request.

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